Fuuuutuuuuuuuurrrree

Tomorrow evening I'll be on a flight to SF to check out the college I decided to go to. What in the actual what. It's just barely registering with me what a big deal this is, I have no idea what I'm doing really, and I'm honestly a bit worried. One thing that takes some weight off my shoulders though, I won't have to live in the dorms. This is amazing for a lot of reasons, firstly being that I wouldn't want to subject anyone to my disgusting living habits, I also don't want to have to deal with anyone else's living habits. Plus there's my whole social anxiety deal and my depression and my ridiculous libido. And honestly, it just wouldn't do me any good. My mom wanted me to live in the dorms because I would socialize and make connections, but that's the last place that I would be comfortable making connections in. Not to mention I will be leaving my room to, yanno, go to classes and shit. I might just maybe meet people through there. Plus the awesome part about Jude coming with me is that I have a tangible safety line. There's a bit of home coming along with me so that I don't have to try to keep myself afloat in a completely foreign, completely hostile environment. Plus we're so similar we get along hella well.

Anyway, I just have to hope and pray that tomorrow I can get out of swimming for safety and first aid because that is the most stupid bullshit ever and if I had known there would be swimming I wouldn't have taken that class. Plus I can't swim for shit. Woo I can kind of float around and not die too bad. That's it. Literally.

Also I'm really glad I have therapy tomorrow. This has been a relatively shitty week.

Still no word from my dad.