I'm depressed again. Third school night in a row. Fifth day. I just want to get out of this fucking house, but I have literally no where to go. No one to see. No friends to meet, no plans, nothing. I haven't got shit.I just want to get away from this stupid lap top and this stupid house and my stupid mom. If it weren't for school I'd forget what my own voice sounds like. And there I got. Second night in a row I've cried. And the way things are going it'll be the second night in a row I don't eat dinner.Can I just have a night where I can be happy? I just want to not have to sit in this shitty basement with nothing to do but let a website own my life. I don't even interact with people on the internet. I feel so alone. The only person I talk to on a regular basis is my pseudo boyfriend in California  And that's hardly even talking, all he wants to do is flirt and simper and talk about meaningless sexual bullshit. I'm not close to anyone, not really close. And my mom's too tied up in her own problems and her own delusions of being a rich popular socialite who's spunky liberal and the life of the party to actually care about her depressive anxious daughter. When she tells me that she's going to be soooooo saaaaaad when I go off to college or whatever the fack I'm going to do with my life, I can hardly take her seriously. She certainly likes to pretend I've already moved out. I can't have my shit anywhere in the house, she spends more time on business trips and out with dave than she does at home. I just want to leave. So so fucking bad. Not permanently I just want to get out of this house. I feel trapped, and that's because I am. All I can do is sit here and listen to the muffled laughter of a bunch of drunken housewives and cry to my computer.Fuck everything.