Clinging the apron strings dangling down my spine
Mewling, muttering, sniffling for attention.
Claws, needles of ice, dig deep
Guiding me to a polished box of pine
Where nothing plays but sad broken records.
There is no struggle, no resistance
But the fear fills me up like a vase left empty
I have nothing to hold onto but myself.
In a pitiful attempt not to explode outwards
Quietly my knees press tighter and tighter
To fuse with my chin, my ribs with my shins
I make myself implode myself to disappear;
No longer human but a shadow behind your couch.
All I can do is silently watch, lips non-existent,
The rest of the world move on with itself,
Entangled in their laughter and smiles, no way to sink.
I am entrenched, no way to run and no will to leave
Huddled down to the size of the infant universe.
Within me is fire that threatens to consume,
But I am left with no spark to ignite myself.
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