My Face

Recently, I haven't been wanting to look at pictures of myself. It seems that every single one that gets taken I look so unattractive and... frankly unintelligent. My eyes will be asymmetrical, one will be open more than the other. And of course my mouth is hanging open and my tongue is sticking out. My face will turn out looking fat and splotchy. Instead of looking happy or calm I look like I'm in pain or a vegetable. Even when I try to draw my self this holds true. But that's not how I see myself in the mirror most of the time. But even then I'll still look ugly every other time. Maybe not ugly, but not attractive by any means. It makes me wonder if that's what other people see all the time. If instead of this fairly attractive person I imagine myself to be, I'm really some chubby, lop-eyed, dolt to everyone around me. Sure my body is nice, yeah I have curves and all that. But if my face doesn't match it, it's not doing me much good. And of course the people around you are going to tell you that you're pretty, because they care about you they'll either ignore your flaws or not notice them. I try to keep things realistic when I compliment people, so that they hopefully know that what I'm saying is my real opinion, not some glossed over white-lie to keep them smiling. It probably makes me seem like a dick when I give out compliments because they aren't glowing testimonies to some one's glory (unless that's what they deserve) they're rational. Or at least I'd like to think they are.  Fuck I don't know. I'm not feeling very pretty right now. And I can't draw myself or nick, or anyone I know. I always fuck them up and make them look terrible. I'll just stick to drawing what's in my head: Fat, ugly, wrinkly people and creatures.