Night Blogging.

So I'm talking with Nic, who is going to be up all night blogging via his tumblr, so I figured I might as well ramble here too. Also probably good to get that mess of last week's happenings out of my face. Imma timestamp this for convenience as well.

12:22 am ~ I was telling Nic about my new porny chopsticks Scout gave me. When I mentioned I wore them in my hair today he said "oh I love you ^^" I've been wanting to tell him I love him for a while now, because I think I do, and I saw this as an opportune time. I reply with a simple "I love you too." He doesn't acknowledge this, he just goes on to ask me how I am. Is this bad? Or am I just being paranoid...?

12:30 ~ He's offline now. My nerves could not be more tense right now.

12:56 ~ False alarm, my paranoia is proved. He was offline for maybe 5 minutes before getting back on. All I can think of is how much I am missing him. If I didn't start work this Wednesday I'd want to road trip to go see him. 

1:07 ~ Nic's now officially offline. His computer is on the fritz or something to that effect. This means I'm going to have to think of something else mildly entertaining to talk about. If you stop reading now, or stopped when you saw me mention Nic's name, I'll understand.

1:53 ~ Not much else happened tonight, but I'm super tired, I got maybe three hours of sleep last night, so I'm off to bed. I hope I can find someone to go to rocky horror picture show with me tomorrow.

Happy Father's Day

Today is father's day, so of course I want to call my dad, because for as little as I do talk to him I still love him, even if we do have compleatly different veiws on the world and life. The first try I got a message, then I got my step-mom, Sherry who told me to call back in half an hour. I got side-tracked, I mean come on I'm in hawaii, so it was about an hour and a half later before I finally called him. He answered and sounded... off. I can always tell when he's not happy, and he was certainly not happy. He asks if I can go find Jude and put him on speaker phone along with me and he starts to talk about how my mum's been asking for way more money than what was first settled for child support and how he couldn't stand being involved with her. Then he told us he thought our relationship was non-existant and he didn't even want to try anymore. So he's not going to call, he's not going to email, to quote him, he just going "to be a check" Again, I love my dad, yes I don't call him half as much, but it would be the same way with my mum if I lived with my dad and not her. I'm fucking 16. What do you expect from me? I don't think about those sorts of things, I certrainly didn't expect to be disowned because of it. On Father's day, no less, what is this a soap opera? Really I'm more pissed at my mother because she's the one who was asking for more money, who hates him and is terrible to him. I can't stand her already and now she's gone and ruined my dad. I'm sure she's only with Dave because he's rich, that's what she was saying she wanted, to marry some rich guy and live off his money. Now she has money from my dad and money from dave. Hell, she doesn't have to work a lick anymore, She ISN'T working anymore. Yup, quit her teaching job. Now she'll be "working" for Dave but that's bullshit. She's just being nosey and throwing out stupid ideas on everything. The way she thinks is like a little kid, she blurts out every idea thinking everyone will love it. And Dave just rolls over and agrees with everything. But she's had maybe two good ideas out of dozens. Not to mention she talks about how she dislikes my dad IN FRONT of me. She also talks about sex, does shots, gives me booze, (edit: later this night she also smoked pot in front of me, and condoned me smoking pot as well,  which is good for me if I continue doing it. Insta excuse.) and generally doesn't ever act like a parent until she "can't take it anymore" when she explodes and bans me from doing anything for a week tops, then she's back to being a terrible influence. If I end up like my mom, greedy, childish, and with no backbone, I'm just going to off myself then and there. So yeah. Good day.

Summer Dulldrums

Okay so I think I was being a drama llama about Nic last week, but I can't help it. I miss him a lot. But I suppose I'm passing the time. Mostly on the computer or doing little pointless things like making cookies (nom nom) and working on my crocheted skirt. (derp derp lulzy word is lulzy) Also I'm lurking around /b/ a whole bunch, because I'm a flowering young lady. Though the only time I post is in the "dubs go to bed" type threads. First time I tried I got dubs. go me. I hung out with Kat once or twice and earlier tonight I hung out with scout which was uber fun as always. But pretty much that's it (except for smoking with Jude and Kevin again. It was better this time. Still not as epic as I had hoped though)

Oh also I found a porno Jude had hid up behind my bathroom mirror when it was his bathroom mirror. It's of Pamela Anderson. Not sure if want... But I might hook up the VCR anyway. For lulz sake.

Any who, Jude also gave me some books to read, namely House of Leaves, Nova Express, and Queer. I'm looking forward to reading them. Especially House of Leaves, it's what I'm going to be doing on the plane most likely. 

That's another thing, I'm leaving for Hawaii tomorrow, but my heart's not completely set on going. I mean, I have no choice, and I'm sure it will be fun. But I've done my Hawaii trip with my dad. Also I'm going to be missing Pride Fest with Nic and going to San Francisco with Scout, and I'm leaving the 13th and Nic gets back from Texas the 14th. Those are all things that really could have happened, I have no idea what I'm going to do in Hawaii. Hopefully I can cross something off of my Summer list. Because so far out of 84 things on the list I've only accomplished 4. Pretty lame if you ask me. Plus I won't have half as much time when I get back from Hawaii to do them anyway because of my internship. Which while I'm excited for it, it is taking away summer times from me. At least this year I don't have band camp taking up time. Viva la get shit done. srsly. I'm going to have to do two a day if I want to do everything I want to.

Any way, tl;dr I miss Nic (even though you're probably sick of hearing about him) chilled with some people, going to hawaii but I'm going to miss some cool stuff.

Texas

Texas seems to be putting more than just miles in between us. Or I might simply be imagining things. Though, Nic never texts me, I always have to reach out to him first, which makes me feel like I'm making him be in this relationship, or at least right now that's how it seems. It really worries me, I mean I don't think I'd get too bent out of shape if he broke up with me, I just wish if he wanted to... he'd at least be swift about it. I don't know, it's really late and I'm probably over thinking things.

But summer has been pretty crazy awesome so far, and it's only a week or two in. I've done something everyday. Might as well put things down in a convenient list for the sake of lists. (also laziness)

~ First moment of summer spent watching Scout play oblivion

~ Hung around and had srs bsns talks while wearing loli

~ Got high with Jude and Kevin

~ Graduation party of horror and doom

~ Chilled with Kat, Darian, and David

~ Night time walks

~ Watched Darian play fallout until 4 in the morning

~ Awkward Doctor's appointment

~ Spontaneous Grill party

~ Shopping for gothy things (and a swimsuit)

~ Changed my username 

Hmm. Not the longest list, but I assure everyone it's full of nothing but win and lulz.
Going to go pass out now. WOOOooooo....