Really the Universe?

Today has, on a whole, been pretty iffy-riffic. Most prominent is the the cold I'm catching, which makes me want to punch small children, because a cold before finals, one of which will determine weather I go to summer school or not, is the absolute last thing I need. I knew I shouldn't have snogged Nic when he'd been sick just a few days earlier.

Speaking of Nic, the biggest thing is that he's leaving tomorrow morning for Texas. For 22 days no less. I had to laugh when he said it wouldn't be too long. In my book 22 days is a long time. By the time he get's back I'll probably either be in Hawaii, or in the full swing of my internship. ( which I still need to talk to Dave about) Which is kind of  lame. Scratch that it's very lame. Because I really like Nic, and I want to spend time with him more than I've been able to this past month. 

And finally I'm just perturbed by people in general today. I don't know if it's woman hormones, or me imagining things, or everyone else's woman hormones, but it feels like there's a couple saran wrap barriers between me and everyone else that's warping what I'm saying into stupid and illogical drivel. I'm pretty sure I'm acting the same as I always do, yet for some reason I keep getting slapped down. I'd ask people around me, but I'm fairly sure that often when I do ask for a straight answer I still get the rainbows-and-sunshine-glossed-with-sugar-and-acceptance response. Not all of the time, but most of the time. I'd like to think I give it to people straight, but I'm sure even I've glossed over a few required responses for the sake of social decency. But don't you still wonder if you're as good as everyone says you are? If what everyone is telling you is what they really think? Doesn't anyone expect the world to be as harsh and un-friendly as I do? Isn't anyone else surprised when it's not?

Phew

This week got a bit hectic, at least near the end of it. Not to mention it lasted for an eternity, this weekend is much welcomed in my book. Though I still have a lot of stuff to do, mostly involving getting my grade in math up to something semi-respectable. (a C would be insanely good at this point) But Darian gave me a freaking long list of bands he likes, so I at least have something to keep some of the monotony at bay. I'm beginning to figure out what music I like and dislike. I even know a few band names now. whaaaaaaat? I also finally found more music from a CD my brother didn't want anymore. It's crazy, and I like it very much, the artist is m1dy. This techno is the techno I started out with, and what ultimately got me hooked on it. So I suppose with what my beginnings in techno were like, it makes sense that dubstep leaves me... underwhelmed. So far some of my favorite bands that I've found and have been given are Elvenking, Dance Gavin Dance, Skrillex, Dr. Steel (but you already knew that) Stars of the Lid, Tegan and Sarah, Dawn of Ashes, Minus the Bear and some other bands that I can't recall at the moment. Whelp, I think that meets my "talk about music" quota for at least a few months.
Oh, wait, I almost forgot my choir concert, which is sort of music-ey. Though that's not really my focus with talking about this. Firstly let's talk about what I got up to. Last week I auditioned for a "transition piece" or what ever you would call it. Basically it was an opportunity for me to sing a song all on my own. The song I chose was something of my own take on "Fly me to the Moon" Though it leaned closer to the traditional Bart Howard version, just because I had to have music for my accompanist. My biggest fear was actually being able perform it in front of a crowd. But, none the less, I got a slot (originally on friday, but I switched with a girl who's family couldn't come on thursday) right after the first choir performed. I'll be honest, I was freaking out the day before at "dress" rehearsal. When I had done my song, I could barely move and my hands were shaking. But somehow, on my performance night, I was able to somehow put the little voice in my head that second guesses everything I do into a submission hold, and just freaking do it up. And I did. And it was pretty awesome. Sure I got a pinch nervous, but that's normal for performers I suppose. But I didn't just stand there like a dead fish, I actually moved and gestured and my voice never once shook. I am still quite proud of myself, the rest of the concert was cake after that. So there's another blow against my stage fright/shyness hooray :3
Though the concert wasn't perfect, or at least not for me. The day of the performance, about two hours before it started, Nic tells me that he just got grounded, so he couldn't come to the concert. That really got me down, especially considering I hadn't seen him for a week, and was really missing him already. Now I won't be able to see him for another week, and I am having a bit of trouble dealing with that. That's the definite downside of having a boyfriend, not seeing them sucks. I don't know how kat does it, what with her Utah anarchy boy.
 Also, my dad never called me after I gave him the concert dates, and I never called him. So, needless to say, he wasn't there. I feel so guilty that I didn't (and don't) reach out to him more. Here I am, singing my first song all by myself in front of a crowd and my own dad isn't watching me. I think some teenagers might blame their dad, but I blame myself. I really am terrible to him. I never call, I never write. But then, neither does he, and we all know how fantastic I am at initiating anything. ugh, thank you brain for that fantastic montage of all the mistakes I've made in the past few months. Maybe I'll figure out how to function in society one day. Maybe.




Oh, and I think I'm going to be making a tl;dr blog post for either the history of my blog, or for this school year. I dunno, still rolling the idea around in my head.

New and Exciting Things!

Well. Sortof. More or less.

The most new and exciting thing is that I've been cooking lately. Don't go cowering under tables, it's not like I'm a terrible cook and this is some sort of miraculous occurrence, I just don't cook very much is all. It always starts with me getting bored, and then on comes a terrible terrible need to cook. The first thing I made was a cheesy cream of broccoli soup, which turned out better than my mum's when she makes it, or at least that's what people said. Second was gumbo, which was almost really good. But instead of getting real crab we got Krab... which was a bad idea. It just had a really... off taste, and it made the whole thing taste fake. (I also totally botched the rue but it didn't make anything too terrible) then I made some awesome portal cookies. Yeah, like the game. They were little "o"s and I sprinkled them with orange and blue sugar. People liked them a lot X3 and finally today I made (without a recipe!) some crazy nommy lemon tomato shrimp noodle stuff. It was by far the best.

So yeah. Cooking. Also, I came up with a nifty new outfit, thanks to one of my new idols Raja Gemini, most recently from RuPaul's Drag Race. Yup, that is a srsly fierce queen.