Friday, April 8, 2011

Screw you angst

I am feeling pretty bad right now, when I should be feeling good. I got to talk to Goggles (someone Haley introduced me to) and he's nice and stuff. And I finally got to relax today instead of worry about homework, and I got to see Ariana after school and I actually felt good about my classes for once. But no, for some stupid freaking reason I feel like I want to cry. I feel sad and alone and nothing I've tried has made it better. I went to the park and that was nice for a while, but then some stupid-arse teenagers pull up being loud and obnoxious so I can't finish my graffiti and have to leave the park in fear of having to confront them. I was happy for a little while, but then it hit me again all of a sudden and I think I'm even more sad. Not to mention horny. Depressed and horny is the worst combination of feelings there is. I can't get a boyfriend, and I don't honsetly think thigns will pan out with Goggles because he might be a weaboo and he's in an open relationship not to mention he's trans-gender so I just don't even and I still can't stop thinking about Alex and all the regrets and all the things I should have said and done. Every fucking day he's in my head at some point or another and it just makes me so upset with myself. In my head all I want to do is get laid or something but I know that that won't work either because I'm too shy  and too afraid to actually go through with anything and it's so stupid. Pretty much I just want to break the hell out of something then try and cry, which I am having trouble with accomplishing even though I've tried to cry at least four times.
I have never had so much frustration in so many parts of my life as I do now.
Have fun reading all my typos.

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