But Screw my Courage to the Sticking Place

If only it were that easy.

I went to a choral concert with Nick just a little while ago. (the concert was quite good) For the first two songs, we help hands, but then, once the choirs changed, he stopped trying to hold mine. And throughout the rest of the show I kept on thinkinging to mayself "Go on, grab his hand, just do it. Come on, on the count of three! Oh just do it already, he probably wants to see if you'll make any moves on him, if you like him enough top initiate something yourself. Come on!!" But by the time the final song was sung all I had accomplished was some scathing internal dialog, and a severe stiffness in my left shoulder. I also think I might have discouraged Nick a bit, which is the last thing I want. Because, I think I like him a good deal more than I thought I was going to, and I would hate for him to get the wrong messages. 

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I desperately need for my courage to not flee at the very whisper of failure. Because in trying to not fail, to not mess up, I end up failing more than if I had attempted something in the first place. I know this, I can acknowledge this. It just seems my mind is set on ignoring itself.

Other than that, I had a lovely day off, I hung out at Scout's all day (Happy birthday Scout!) and watched her play oblivion, and shaded her picture, which is far more difficult than I first planned it to be.