Tch. Point Taken

Well, I never got a reply from Matt, and he has not sought me out at school, so I'm just going to take that as a "I don't like you and you frighten me."  kind of a message. Oh well, carry on to greener, less shy pastures; that is, if any exist. There is a guy who might be checking me out at lunch, but I don't really feel like doing any pursuing. Hooray I'm lazy about everything.

Speaking in that general line of thought, my mum has gotten me a therapist. She's supposed to just be helping me with being organized and schoolwork... But I kindof want to talk to her about other things... just as an actual living breathing outlet, as much as I like you blog, you tend to not be flesh and blood and all those other nifty things that people are. But you are anonymous (more or less) which I like.

Also, a weird thing Scout and I noticed over the weekend: Now-a-days, I flinch whenever kendra touches me. It happened just today, her elbow brushed my arm and I jumped away (Not enough to make a scene, but enough that I wasn't in bump range anymore.) I guess I've just made her anathema in my mind, so that being stern or possibly un-friending her (not in the facebook sense) will be easier. As sad as it may sound, I am very good at not being people's friend anymore. It's just something that I understand. You slowly (or suddenly) stop spending time with that person, outside of school is the first to go of course, because that's the easiest. Then in school you start finding  ways to spend time away from that person. Projects are hard to work around, especially if you don't have many friends. You might stop hearing them say hello to you, stop noticing them in the hall, make no attempt to contact them. And some other things I've probably forgotten... and then shazam! You are down a friend. Congratulations, you no longer have to confront any sort of problems in any of your relationships ever again.Good for you. Good for me. Good for all of us pansy-types out there.

Thankfully though, I have some pretty fucking awesome friends so I won't have to do this anytime soon. (except for Kendra of course, but Scout wants to stay friends with Kendra, so I'll stick things out too.)

Also, I watch Stark Trek: next generation the other night. Capt. Kirk got turned into an 12 year old. IT WAS SOOOOOO adorable. Especially considering he had an English accent and then threw a fake tantrum. Man, I really need to start watching more of that show. Perhaps I'll finally figure out our DVR and record it.

Here I go Again

Whelp. I texted Matt today, with what is hopefully the right number. But that was... several hours ago. Still no reply. I have the most dreadful feeling that it's the same number, and Matt really doesn't want to be around me, he's just too shy to say so. Ugh. I dunno. It's easier to just not think about it.

My sibling just came home to show off their new tattoo. It's beautiful, a big wasp on the top of their chest. It's anatomically correct but there's something... otherworldly about it, but not so much that it looks surreal or cartoonish; just enough to make you look twice. Jude getting a tattoo makes me want one as well. But that might just be me following in my sibling's footsteps. I'm not sure, but I would probably get something more abstract. Maybe my personal insignia, or some other straight black design. I think there is a lot of beauty in things that are simple yet somehow also intricate.

Yeesh. Been writing this blog on and off for a few hours. Seeing as how it's not expanding at all, I'm gonna call it quits for tonight.

Back to School

Well, winter break is over and school has started once again, but I think this semester will be pretty good. I like all of my classes and my teachers are super. I even got into art, which is crazy exciting, even though we're just doing super basic stuff , I still love it.

Also, I tried out for the school musical, just chorus though, I still have some serious stage fright to get over. My audition went pretty well, I was nervous, but I hope it just came off as vibrato.  I think my favorite part of it all was the dance auditions. They were done with the whole group, and mostly it was seeing how fast you pick up on something, and I did pretty well. I got most of the steps down, and was with the group most of the time. I just got a bit messed up when I was in front and couldn't watch people for some cues. But it was still a lot of fun, I really like group dancing. (even if I'm not the best at it.)

In other news, I found my lost leather jacket. Of course it was sitting in plain sight on the choir-room table. Worst part is I spent about half an hour looking through bags of narsty coats that where to be donated to homeless people to see if my mistake mine had gotten mixed in with them all. Ugh, so observant. 

Also I need to text Matt, I got his real number (I hope) this time, and have been putting off contacting him for about a week. I really seem to not understand this whole "romance" business. But I gave him my phone number, why doesn't he call me? Mutual apprehension is the relationship killer.

Well, it getting to be a bit late, and I don't want to sleep through my alarms for the third or fourth time, so I guess I'll be going to go pass out from physical and emotional exhaustion.

The wait until friday when parts for the musical are posted is going to kill me.