Trolls Everywhere

Well I texted Matt finally. I don't get a reply all evening, I go to sleep after leveling up my pokemans for at least an hour (fire stone y u no in my game? I wants the flareon) then moments after I wake up the next day I see a text from Matt. I'm excited, thinking he finally texted me back, that it's the right number and we might hang out sometime  and make out  But lo and behold when I open the message, it reads "I'm not matt you fucktard" Yeah. woo. Hopes = dashed.

I would understand a reply like this if I had texted and called the number several times, always asking for a Matt. But I texted the number once, at a reasonable hour. A wrong number is not cause for such hostility, I extremely tempted to text something to that affect back. But in the hallowed words of the responsible people on the internet "don't feed the trolls" So I've left my phone on the floor where I threw it in a fit of disgust, and am now hoping a friend is available to hang out with, because goodness knows I need something to keep from running scenario after scenario through my head about how it was all maybe a mistake or somehow Matt will show up at my house because he got my address from a friend. Because honestly, I don't really want the sunshine and roses solution, those are the least likely to actually happen.

Uhm, other than that things aren't really happening. At all. So that's all I suppose.

Happy Agnostic Christmas!

Yeah, my entire family is agnostic, but we still celebrate christmas. Mostly for the joy of giving and receiving than any sort of spiritual what-not, so hooray. (Lol Jesus was born in the springtimes. Silly Christians, stealing Pagan holidays for your owwwn. Sillies) That was fun, I got a ton of fantastic gifts, and people liked the gifts that I gave them as well. We also for the first time in years went to have dinner at another house on christmas day. We went to Dave's parent's house and it was less terrible than I was expecting. Dave's dad wasn't as crazy as everyone thought he would be. Also, there was coffee that everyone secretly put bourbon in, because Dave's dad doesn't drink. I had some, and I just got really freaking tired. I still am pretty tired. You crazy bastards from the 1920's, and your putting of alcohol in coffee, I followed your example and it was only kind of fun...

Also, people will be disappointed to hear that while I did get Matt's phone number the last day of school, I have been too much of a pansy to text or call him. And of course today, when I was finally set to send him a text, I wasn't able to find my phone until 10:00 pm. Stupid universe... sabotaging any attempt I make to get a love live. Stupid universe. I'm starting to think I should just text him anyway, and he'll either get it now, or he'll get it tomorrow. Blurg, romance is still so stupid and confusing.

Back From Vegas

Yup I got back from Vegas a few days ago. As should have been expected, there were no wild bacchanalian nights for me. But I did have a super awesome time regardless. During the afternoon (we stayed up uber late every night and so we got up late too) we went shopping. For the first two days we stayed mostly in The Forum shops or whatever they're called, in the Venetian, and those were pretty fun. They were modeled to look like the streets of Venice and probably some other Italian city I don't know. The interesting thing was that despite Las Vegas being made up of equal parts glitter and cheese, it didn't feel cheesy. The whole thing was... enchanting almost. The walls looked like actual small-scale building and the shops were well-incorporated; the ceiling was painted to look like the sky, but it was realistic enough that it didn't really throw you off. Even the canals and singing gondola rowers in a certain part of it felt quaint rather than obnoxious. I really enjoyed it, and I got some pretty nifty clothes, including a glow-in-the-dark franken-cat shirt, an awesomely smexy black skirt, and greatest of all... a corset! It's super high quality too, sprung-steel ribbing and 100% cotton and silk. I adore it completely, and I can even put it on by myself :3 It takes my 28 inch waist and takes it to a 26. So I suppose I don't really need a corset... but I just can't resist! I love how elegant and sexy it feels. Gah, so much fun.

So uhm... other than that I had finals this week, and I think I did pretty good on them. I know I got an A on my Geometry final and I'm pretty sure I got A's and B's on everything else. Hoorah. Oh gosh, I wrote the most random poem (Not random in it's contents, just random with what I normally write for poetry) So the requirements were: Dialogue, Description, A president, A flashback, the mention of math, and the mention of science. Seeing as I don't readily know all of the president's scientific achievements I couldn't just write about a dead white guy. SO instead I wrote about Speakeasies and Prohibition. It was pretty fun, the last line was "Happiness equals Rum" and it rhymed sometimes. Most because I FUCKING LOVE RHYMING!!! (Insert the "I fucking love coloring" kid here) Yeeaaahhh. Uhm other than that... woo finals are over... and uhm... woo I got Matt's phone number and I might ask him to come see Tron with me maybe .3. *cough*

And Kelsey wants me to join here in seeing how long we can stay up. Both of us want to get to the point of hallucination. But I'm like that almost every day soooo.... Happy Kanishmas?

Sky Lights

When I'm laying on my bed, and I look up and out of my window, it feels like I have a Sky Light. In that moment I can see towering trees and blue sky. Or the starry night, depending on the time. And when I do this I almost forget why I have a curtain over my window, I almost forget about the stained concrete wall and the rusty metal ladder bolted to it's side. 
But then, remember the distance between me and freedom, the screen-less window that is all that stands in my way. 
I remember what the ladder is for. 
Yet, I never wander astray. I am compelled, like the good girl I am, to stay.

Smoke

Well the bout of concerts went well. I never passed out, or almost passed out. Backstage was a bit tedious, Kendra was extra gloomy with a helping of clingy on the side. Though I suppose I really shouldn't talk about her behind her back, I honestly don't have the energy to care anymore. Ever since I had a dream about her a few nights ago I've loathed her touch. I don't really like when people get into my dreams when I don't want them there. Not that I dream much anyway. Oh, and I suppose I should say that Cleo is not in danger of being given away. That's something Dave is good for, he calms down my mom and doesn't mind spending money on her. I think she really likes both of those things. Oof. Lots of angst going on right now. I wasn't even all that angsty today, in fact I had a pretty good day as far as days go. I went to the laundromat to clean comforters, for some reason I like laundromats... or I like how they smell, most of the time. 

About the title, after my brother had dropped Scout off from the concert he told me how it was tradition to smoke a... I dunno, like a miniature cigar thing (I can't remember what he called them) after your sophomore Christmas concert.  He said I should smoke one with him, and I surprised myself and said "fuck it" and I did. I mean, I didn't really inhale or anyshit like that. I treat my lungs like a temple, but I puffed it or whatever you call it. And it was kindof fun, seriously, I didn't freak out about it or anything. They were even cherry flavored, I could not stop licking my lips. X3 And then he showed me how he did some fancy smoking tricks. (none of which I attempted. I would have gagged, dropped the cigar thingy on my dress and then my choir dress would've been ruined.) But he did teach me how to "properly" launch the thing half-way across the street to put it out. I had to try that a few times... it was pretty cool, if only because me and my brother and I never really "hang out" together. But afterwords my mouth started to taste fukken terrible. That alone will keep me from seriously taking up smoking, I hate it when my mouth tastes weird.

Oh, my hair was a madhouse today. I let it go all crazy curly and then I just shoved random bows and clips into my hair. Also, my hair how it turned out.--> (not purple or red but I've gotten over the disappointment/ rage) For some reason I had the urge to attack this with Paint, turns out, I am very purple/blue. :/ weird. After I took this picture I stuck a red feather that's probably over a foot long in my hair as well, side ways so that if someone weren't paying attention when they walked by me it'd smack them right in them face. (Or shoulder. Derp, I'm short)
I think that's about it for my latest "adventures." Oh, I read the first book of Sin City. That freaking crazy cannibal guy disturbed the hell out of me. *shivers*
I suppose that is all, peace out and all that. :3

Incapable?

It's times like this when I wonder if there is something wrong with my brain, or if I am just a terrible human being. I suspect both. I got back from TN about a week ago, and I hadn't remembered to empty my cat's litter box. No one reminded me, I was again expected to simply remember. This is not something that should be expected of me. Regardless of why, the combined effort of my memory and laziness has once again fucked me over. My cat decided that my bed is the perfect place to do her business for at least the third time. My mom has before warned me that if Cleo soiled my bed again she would get rid of her. My mother is furious. I have the sinking feeling I'll never see my cats after this performance and I am currently loathing myself because I still am incapable of doing the simplest of tasks because I have no ability for seeing future consequences. This is also the reason as to why my grades are complete and total shit. I'm failing math and barely passing all of my others, barely. With grades like mine I will not be getting into a good college, I will not be getting a good job, and I will not have any sort of life I imagined. All of that rests on weather or not I do homework for subjects I won't remember in two years. Which is in my opinion, bullshit. Make the time when humans are the least organized the least mature and the least focused on their future the time when their entire life hangs in the balance. I despise the way our schooling systems are set up.

Though my friends seem to be doing well at school. They get all A's if not A+'s and they are the same age if not younger than me. Maybe I'm just defective, unable to properly function. Destined to be the crazy lady living in the ally-way feeding stray cats more than I feed myself. Way to have a bright future, me, way to have a bright future.