Well, I think I've figured some things out, thank goodness too. Mostly about romantic stuff, but that really is the biggest plague in my life, confusion-wise at least.
What brought about this clearing in my thoughts was a visit from a certain Kendra you will most likely remember (I had a crush on her that was, in looking back, very un-based and kind of unhealthy. Ah hindsight, you make everything so painfully clear so painfully late.) Well, anyway, before she had been on my mind in less than honorable ways. So I was both eager to see her, and dreading it. When she arrived we flirted a bit and that was about it, I was rather relieved. But we did flirt... and I started feeling rather guilty about the whole thing. This guilt was an eye-opener for me, kind of like a bucket of cold water or a slap in the face, wholly unpleasant during, but mind clearing afterwards.
I had been feeling some confusion with what I felt towards Kendra and Alex. But now I figured it out, Kendra (and a lot of other little crushes) were just me floundering around in teenage hormones. Or at least that's what I figure. I had all this need for romance bopping around my head, making me reach out for things and people that weren't really going to help me, but might. But once Alex came around, I finally had a stable outlet for all of those thoughts and feelings, one that doesn't piss me off or make me feel uncomfortable all the time.
So there's that release, hoorah. Which also leads me to find that I really care for Alex, and it's not just me entertaining a small fancy. We can hang out for hours, and the only reason we stop is because it's late and one of us needs to be picked up. He's really a fun guy to be around.
Also we kissed. It was a very nice kiss. My stomach did a little flip, the good kind. *coughcough*
Erm, in other news my summer is progressing, I'm making some decisions on my Catwoman cosplay. My mum insists I start driving, and that'd be all good and well, if it weren't for the fact that I have misplaced my permit, and I had come to terms with the idea of driving too. FFFFFF THE UNIVERSE!!!
Also I have a rather busy week next week I'm going to a fancy showing of The Princess Bride with a friend. (It's pretty much our movie ) X3 I'm getting together with another friend that I haven't seen in ages, I have voice lessons, and then I have the Pride Parade. Which I am very, very excited for.
~ Tentacle cats are never busy
What brought about this clearing in my thoughts was a visit from a certain Kendra you will most likely remember (I had a crush on her that was, in looking back, very un-based and kind of unhealthy. Ah hindsight, you make everything so painfully clear so painfully late.) Well, anyway, before she had been on my mind in less than honorable ways. So I was both eager to see her, and dreading it. When she arrived we flirted a bit and that was about it, I was rather relieved. But we did flirt... and I started feeling rather guilty about the whole thing. This guilt was an eye-opener for me, kind of like a bucket of cold water or a slap in the face, wholly unpleasant during, but mind clearing afterwards.
I had been feeling some confusion with what I felt towards Kendra and Alex. But now I figured it out, Kendra (and a lot of other little crushes) were just me floundering around in teenage hormones. Or at least that's what I figure. I had all this need for romance bopping around my head, making me reach out for things and people that weren't really going to help me, but might. But once Alex came around, I finally had a stable outlet for all of those thoughts and feelings, one that doesn't piss me off or make me feel uncomfortable all the time.
So there's that release, hoorah. Which also leads me to find that I really care for Alex, and it's not just me entertaining a small fancy. We can hang out for hours, and the only reason we stop is because it's late and one of us needs to be picked up. He's really a fun guy to be around.
Also we kissed. It was a very nice kiss. My stomach did a little flip, the good kind. *coughcough*
Erm, in other news my summer is progressing, I'm making some decisions on my Catwoman cosplay. My mum insists I start driving, and that'd be all good and well, if it weren't for the fact that I have misplaced my permit, and I had come to terms with the idea of driving too. FFFFFF THE UNIVERSE!!!
Also I have a rather busy week next week I'm going to a fancy showing of The Princess Bride with a friend. (It's pretty much our movie ) X3 I'm getting together with another friend that I haven't seen in ages, I have voice lessons, and then I have the Pride Parade. Which I am very, very excited for.
~ Tentacle cats are never busy
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