The Graduation Gauntlet.

Well, it's the end of the year, which means many things. Sun, Friends, Solitude, Free time and a whole slew of graduation related affairs. My brother graduated this year, so I went to his "Continuation Ceremony" which wasn't entirely boring. I ate with my dad's side of the family. The food wasn't too good sadly. The day after that I had my last two finals to take. They were pretty easy and I'm sure I did at least ok on them. The next day I went to my cousin's graduation that was outside, I forgot sun-screen. Needless to say, my shoulders are burn-tastic. I then went and had lunch with my dad's side of the family again, which was indeed fun. The food was better too, hooray P.F. Chang's! The rest of the day I just hung around and was on a whole fairly useless. Then the next day, yesterday, was my brother's graduation party. I helped a lot with setting up and running about. Thank goodness my mum had me invite some of my friends to that or else I would have exploded from family contact. My last week of school was seriously hectic. Blerg. But now I'm looking forward to a day of relative isolation. Unless Alex wants to hang out, then screw isolation I say.
I'm really craving this basil, tomato, and goat (?) cheese salad thing. It's italian, and you cover it in salt and olive oil. It's pretty delicious. Speaking of healthy food. I want to find some simple ways to cook couscous, other than just preparing the stuff, like good spices or seasonings to add to it. I want to eat a bit healthier, so that I can have more energy and maybe get rid of my little love handles. But if that doesn't happen I won't be crushed. It's not like I'm fat or overweight, I'm just not very healthy. But I shall never relinquish eating sweets or other snackish foods. X3
Oh, also, color guard is starting up again. We have yet another new instructor, but I think I'm going to like him, though his assistant intimidates me, as most flexible dancer-type people do. It's weird that I'm in color guard, because I'm not a dancer, I'm not flexible, I'm not very graceful, and I'm certainly not athletic in any way. I guess I just like having something to do after school, though I've never been in any clubs. I want to join some next year, like our school's G.S.A (now called Co-exist) and the Secular Humanist club. But I may not even get up the courage to do that. Curse my need to never do anything wrong.

I think that's about all I want to talk about... peace out.


~Tentacle Cats can never get sun burns.

So. Close.

Only five more days. Only five more days. Only five more days.
Even though summer is right around the corner, I'm not crazy with summer fever, I just want school to be out, so I can be done with having people get on my case for being forgetful and lazy. Plus I won't have to deal with people I don't want to deal with for a whole two months. For this I am excited.
I'm pondering getting a summer "job" Like, putting up flyers saying that I'll cat-sit, just so I can get some more funds for NDK. Plus I need some summer spending money, and I've pretty much depleted my funds from christmas, that or they've gone into the NDK fund. I really need to remember to order my pvc catsuit before they run out of them, though I still don't know what to do for the head. Really that's what will make the difference between he latest or the previous catwoman outfit. I found what seems to be an awesome costume, but from what I can tell, it's just the suit, not the mask/goggles. Curses.
Oh and though I shall be embarrassed, I must address that whole "friend gossip" affair deal. I guess she wasn't talking about me. I'm not surprised the thought occurred to me that it might be someone else with similar traits. Derp. My bad.
Oh and everything in my romance life is still confusing.
I went to the library and got some books, I read Goth Girl Rising all last night. Even though I was up till 1 it was worth it. So I did my book talk on that instead of Vladmire Nobokov's Lolita. Kyra's situations helped me a bit with my own, or at least gave me some ideas as to what to do. (which includes shave my head at some point in time. I'm thinking later twenties)
Also I'm going to toss in a bit of a rant here. At the beginning of the year, I knew a few people who said they were lesbians. Then, throughout this year, both of them have gotten boyfriends. (several in fact) It kind of pisses me off, because I guess it seems like they were just pretending to be lesbians, and that's just kind of lame to me. I mean, I don't parade around saying I'm lesbian because I've kissed a girl a few times and want to again. I don' even really identify as bi. I don't know what the fuck I am, and I admit that. I'll say something like "I'm bi for now, but I'm really not sure. I'm just keeping my options open at this point." I'm not even sure if bi is accurate, because in general, I like humans, so I don't really care about gender too much in the first place. I'm not sure if that would qualify as pansexual... but I don't want to get it on with most every living thing. I draw the line at animals, small children, and old people. I'm not really sure what to make of it to be honest.

Meh there's my directionless rant for the day.




~Tentacle cats look good in leather.

The Tail-end

Well, the school year is almost over, and I am very thankful for that. All I have left is finals, and I'm not too worried about them, seeing as I test very well. Though Alex asked me to help him study, and I'm just thinking "lol, you do not want MY help studying. I rarely study, even more rare is when I study WELL." Teehee, people who have to study for things will now dislike me :3
Any whooo, something actually happened today, but that's not necessarily a good thing. To give you all the long and short of it, one of my very good friends apparently got pissed at me and decided to talk to others about traits she doesn't like about me. If she had done this without my knowing, I wouldn't have cared. I wouldn't even have gotten pissed if she had come up to me and told me what was bothering her. But what pisses me off is the fact that she was not even all the way across the room from me, saw that I was looking right at her, and was telling people who I am acquainted with about how I make up information and deny anyone else's information. While it is true that I am stubborn when it comes to dissenting opinions, or conflicting information, I never make it up. I've gotten it from a source that I trust, like my mom, or my brother, or a book. I rarely have any drama with my friends, we all get along very well, but this really set me off. The most hurtful part though, is how she then came up to me like I hadn't heard every singe word she said. Either she thinks I'm deaf or she thinks that that was a valid way to make me aware of her feelings. Needless to say I was far too frustrated to speak to her the rest of the day. She was concerned about me, and why I was acting moody. If you are going to insult me in my presence, please do not then try to be friendly to me, at the very least keep your distance. I'm going to ask her about it tomorrow, and hopefully I will be able to keep it off of what may have ignited her comments and more on the fact that she should confront me with her problems. I'm a fairly straightforward person, so I like it when people don't beat around the bush. (though I'm being a total hypocrite because I beat circles around that bush.)
Well there's my friendship rant for the day, glad I could get that off my chest.
Oh also, I'm still extremely confused with that whole Alex Kendra deal. As long as nothing is really happening with either of them I think I'm safe to try and sort this out for a bit longer. I really wish I had a reliable person that I could ask about all this. Oh and just to add some more drama, there is a person that I want very little to do with who I believe has a thing for me. I'd like to think I am at least proficient in most aspects of my life... except for romance. I fail majorly in anything that has to do with romantic relations with other people. It may be a lack of experience, I really don't know, but as it currently stands I am still failing, failing hard.

I feel this deserves a FML.




~Tentacle Cats don't gossip

Lolwut?

Sorry I disappeared for so long, my life suddenly got busy or something like that. But yeah, I'm back from that little self-imposed hiatus.
Well, I guess most exciting is that stuff is actually happening. I've probably forgotten a lot of it, but what I can remember I shall tell you, and I will make an attempt at going in chronological order.
So the first thing that happened that I can recall is that Alex and I went to Roller Derby. I had a pretty good time, though as always I am a bit awkward with crowds, and I guess so is he. (That or he's so relaxed he just doesn't care) I want to go to roller derby again sometime, with or without Alex, because it was really cool. An announcer was in a dress and there were roller girls skating around in awesome clothes.
We then hung out a few days later, just after school. We mostly just talk/crack-jokes, it gets tiring to be around him because I have to keep on my toes, and I'm laughing constantly. (Not because I think it makes me attractive, but because he is fracking hilarious) But I still have a good time. My friend has been nagging me to try and hold his hand or something, but I really don't do that whole "assertive girl" thing. It's not like I'm saying women should always hold a submissive role, if someone is doing something I don't like I let them know, but I just am not very good with this whole romance thing yet.
Also that English project was due last week. I did anywhere from crap to semi-okay on my story board, though the entire group was not in-sinc at all. So that might not turn out to be my crowning glory. But now I have to write a narrative about some moment of my life that goes along with an aspect of my personality. For some reason my mind is set on doing something related to my first kisses, I don't know why really, that just seems like something that would be interesting to do. Or I could make something really crazy up. If anyone reads this and has an idea, please do tell me, though the rough draft is due this Monday. I do wonder though how my English teacher would react to me writing about kissing a girl. >:3 *plotplotplot*
We also had a choir concert a few days ago. It was the last one of the year, so emotions were a tad high. On the last night, and the last song, our choir teacher and a lot of the students were in tears. I started to cry just a bit, because I know some really awesome seniors that are graduating, and I'm really going to miss them. Our choir teacher is a guy, and we all joke around that he's gay (because he is just a little bit fabulous from time to time) For this concert he wore a very sparkly vest under his suit. At first it was extremely distracting, but I got used to it. Over-all the concerts went pretty well, though there were still girls that couldn't understand what it meant to be in concert mode, or the concept of being quiet. *coughcough*
After the choir concert I went over to Scout's house, and Kendra came to. We had uber lots of fun, they made me watch The Maid, and the funny part was, I was only the only one awake by the end of the movie, and I hadn't even wanted to watch it. Scout did Kendra's make-up, and she is a god with make-up, so Kendra looked really gorgeous, kind of that pin-up model beauty. Then, when Scout left the room, her and I ended up snogging. Yeah, I'm pretty confused too.
That leads me to my confounded questioning of the universe and it's ways or something like that. I really must be terrible with this whole romance thing because I just cannot figure it out. At all. Seriously. FFFFFF. I like Alex because we actually have some amount of compatibility and I enjoy being around him and he's generally a pretty cool guy. But his downfalls are his lack of "dominance" and the fact that he most likely is into some form of drugs. Kendra on the other hand sometimes does not mix with me too well, but she is very dominant, and can understand the things my body language is saying.
A little voice in the back of my head is telling me I can have both, but I'm not sure how I feel about open relationships just yet. I guess another part of me is leaning towards Kendra because I haven't been with a girl before, and I want to try it out before I go for another boy.

Murf, it's late, I should probably stop now before I say something exceedingly embarrassing or stupid.



~Tentacle Cats are masters of romance.

Like a slap in the face.

That's what getting sick right before important things is like. Or something else rather unpleasant. I got a cold yesterday-ish (the ish because it's midnight right now) and you all know how I was planning to hang out this weekend and such. But seeing as I'm currently coughing, runny-nosed, and sound like I've been smoking for twenty years, I decided that might not be the best course of action.
But these past two days haven't been all bad, which is good. (wait what?) The other day, after getting my braces screwed with and such (They had to put in a wire tie to move this one crazy half-sideways tooth back into position, and that shite hurt) my mum took me to the thrift store, because it's right across the street from my orthodontist. You kids get ice cream and other soft delicious foods after you get braces tightened, I get clothes. But not just any clothes. Oh no, you are about to witness the true wonder that is my mother. At the store I'm doing my normal routine, briefly scan the shirts, look over the shoes, skim the pants, then scour the dresses. And while scouring the dresses, lo and behold, I find a good condition leatherish, snap front, short skirt, low cut dress. Needless to say I was excited, I was even more excited when I tried it on and it fit fantastically!!! The part may be though, that my mum bought it for me. Yes. My mother purchased for me, her 15 year-old daughter an obvious fetish-item, and she isn't a creeper either. :3
Today I didn't do much at all. I just sat on the computer and watched youtube, which I rarely do. (I'm not much of a you tuber like all of my friends and a good portion of the world) I'm pretty sure I was in front of the compy the entire day... I'll claim I was resting. X3



~Tentacle cats are incapable of getting sick.